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What Finally Made You Realize That Your Friend Is A Covert Narcissist?
My question to you would be do you live with this person? If you only know them outside of their home then you are seeing a master of disguise. Behaving this way is one of the key features of a skilled covert narcissist. CHARM, OVERLY HELPFUL, TOO FRIENDLY, EAGER TO PLEASE in the outside world. It is the perfect mask to hide behind and make their family members look crazy if t ever speak out about what goes on behind closed doors. If you do live with this person…..then you have a master manipulator of the mask, t will keep up the mask for as long as it works for them, you, in their mind, are most likely thought of as a game piece to be played. Every upset or offence you have ever caused them is being noted and stored in memory and possibly notes. Every good thing about you or that you have done, is forgotten. The mask is remaining in place because t are calculating the ways in which you serve them, whatever need or needs that you fulfil has been considered, and the mask is worth keeping in place as a means to keep you in place. This could go on forever, if you are excellent narcissistic supply. Or you could find yourself discarded with no explanation or further communication needed. Once a consistently charming narcissist discards you….you are dead to them.
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This has got to be a relief to you, but it also means that there is no more use being narcissistic to them. You are gone. How to protect yourself from a narcissist The way you can go out, to have fun with people who seem “nice” — and make new friends — is to be wary of those on whom their narcissistic supply depend. If these are other people or their friends that they rely upon, then their mask is going to be intact. They know their mask has been shattered, and they won't be making any new friends, it is an obvious signal to everyone around that they are unhappy and are not “worth the hassle” because their mask must be intact. If you can be selective in befriending people that are around their friends or family members, then you will get the best outcome. Narcissist's don't see much of.